~ A Daughter’s Metamorphosis ~
Taking that first step was the hardest. My daughter held my arm tightly, and I wanted to stay still a little longer. A few tears formed and clouded my vision. I blinked them away to see the green lawn, the gathered crowd, and the young man in a black suit.
A friend spread out the train of her wedding gown, another hit play to start the instrumental song, and she whispered to me, “You ready?”
No.
But I couldn’t stop that first step. There were no take-backs and no reverse button. Together, I walked with my daughter down the wedding aisle. Friends looked at us, smiling, nodding, sympathizing. Then, I took her to the front, to a stage with the young man and the preacher.
“Who gives this woman to this man?”
I had contemplated various responses. “Not me. This is their own dumb decision,” or “I’m the dad, I’ll ask the questions.” However, this was not the moment to be funny or feisty. I answered, “Her mother and I.”
They joined hands, pledged their lives together, and kissed. Then, that young man ran off with my daughter.
Watching them walk away, gave me a shot of shock. It’s not that they left the venue. They just stepped away to take a few pictures before the reception began. But, reality set in, and my wife and I faced one of the greatest changes we mortals must endure.
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Permanency in this life is nonexistent. Change is inevitable, especially with the bundles of joy you once held minutes after birth.
Years ago, I heard from a number of folks – you know, those with glorious gray hair, enviable wrinkles, and offspring in their 50s – just how quickly children grow up. Hearing this, I thought to myself, “I’m 25, my daughter is a baby. It’ll be years before this is true!”
I was right, it would be years – 24 to be exact. But I was wrong and my friends, too; those years come and go more than quickly. Twenty-four years ago, I would have thought 24 years was a long time, but 24 years evaporates faster than the measly mind can comprehend. One who knows this better than anyone alive today said, “You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James* was the one with a keener perception.
*(4:14 NIV)
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So, what is the secret to coping with such monumental change that we don’t want but know that we can’t stop?
Not all changes are bad. The marriage brought new members to the family, more people to love, more birthdays and longer Christmas lists. The marriage also brought in new ideas, new traditions, and new experiences that we would not discover otherwise.
Also, we are challenged in Ecclesiastes** to not cling to the good ol’ days. How many times have you been told how great the good ol’ days were? Dozens of times, at least? Looking through old photos stirs up in me and probably you a longing for days long gone. We have no time machine and we dare not forget what happened in the past. Yet, we are told to not cling to those days. This causes me to consider that the faith journey is present focused and perhaps more so future focused.
**(7:10 NIV)
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I’ll never forget early December 2010. My family was living and working in Taiyuan, China. One Saturday morning, we ran to a department store to explore Christmas presents for the kids. While there, we stumbled across the toy section, and these toys were legit – imported from the US and EU. In an instant, our kids’ faces exploded into smiles. They ooo’d and aaa’d over the Barbies, giggled over the kitchen playsets, and danced with joy when they saw the plethora of stuffed animals. All three wallowed in the rapture of toys! For Christmas! Under the tree! Wrapped in bright Chinese wrapping paper! Presents!
As our youngest two daughters smothered stuffed animals, my eldest daughter stared at a baby doll. I remember no details about the toy, but I remember the intensity of her face, the smile, the eagerness, the instantaneous love. Her face said something deeper than wanting the baby doll for Christmas. Her expression showed that right here before her was something – better said, someone – to have and to hold and to love forever. That sweet face simply said, “Daddy, please get this for me!”
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Our eldest daughter glanced at me for one moment that December morning in her childhood. Her broad smile showed all her joy and all her heart. It pierced and clove this sappy dad into two mortal pieces. Yes, a simple smile, but by a child gifted to me, one that I can love forever. As a child and now a woman, she smiled that same smile the day of her wedding. I witnessed metamorphosis, my daughter remade for the rest of her life. It has now required me to let her grow and flower into the woman that God made her.
Jared Travis 